Being back

Central heating – what a wonderful thing! My parents will be horrified to hear that I have turned on the heating when September has barely begun. But really it’s very simple. It’s cold. There is a heating system. I can turn it on. So I have! This is in stark contrast to Mbeya, where the situation goes more like this: It’s cold. There is no heating system. Put on your thickest jumper and warmest socks. Still feel cold. Get a hot water bottle.

And that leads me onto another thing. Hot water straight out of the taps. No waiting for the kettle to boil to fill that hot water bottle or to wash the dishes. There I was, thinking I really didn’t feel like washing up, all that palaver, and then I remembered, it’s easy – the water will come fresh and hot out of the tap, and there is water, and that water will be clean!

So that’s another thing. Clean water. The first day back I was given a glass of water by my friend and it took a second to overcome the shock of her filling the glass up straight from the tap. You’d think I’d be used to the fact that things are different in England compared to Tanzania, but somehow there can still be that split second feeling of confusion or surprise until you remember how things work again.

Like when you realise that the bus driver is speaking English. Or that my first food shop cost me as much as a month’s worth of shopping in Mbeya. Or that you can go to a shop and the shop attendant shows you just the right amount of attention, neither too in-your-face or ignoring you. Or that when I walk down the street no-one gives a second glance, even when I walk fast. Or that blue skies in early September do not necessarily mean that it will be warm.

Those things are minor issues though. I think this year I have more of an awareness that my home is Mbeya;  here in England I pop up in people’s lives for a few weeks or months and then I am gone again. I am very blessed by the friendships I have here, but I know my UK friends have their own lives, in which they make space for me for the bit of time that I am back, but in which I might not fit so easily if I returned here permanently. The uncertainties over work permits in Tanzania and the awareness that any one of my expat friends there might have to leave when their permit is due for renewal or that I myself might have to leave, mean that looking ahead I have less certainty over Mbeya feeling like home too. Once again, all of these changes and uncertainties force me to consider where my true stability is to be found, which should be in the One who is unchanging and in the certain hope that we have in Him. Really living out this trust in Him in my daily life, especially when those anxious thoughts come, is harder than one might hope. I think it is going to be a life-long lesson! But as a sermon by my brother, based on Philippians 4:4-9, recently reminded me, “The Lord is near. Do no be anxious about anything.” (Emphasis mine)